Gaara; a name spit from the lips of the woman who bore him, a woman who died bringing him into this world as he was ripped from her body. She named him Gaara: A demon who loves only himself. She named him Gaara so that he would not only be reminded of the thing that he was by the fact that the parasite inside him wouldn't let him sleep or feel pain; he would be reminded of his mother's hate and pain every time someone said his name. She planted a seed that he could never claw out, a seed so deep that he would spend the majority of his life trying to dig his fingers around the roots of the parasitic plant.
Gaara has his mother's hate, her soft features and her large eyes, his father's hair and his uncle's tendency to lie. Gaara is six years old and has no friends. He's never fallen and scraped his knee or been careless with scissors and with every inch of his body he longs to feel pain that will eventually heal instead of pain that will always hurt. The closest thing he ever felt to real pain was when he carved the symbol for love above his left eye. He'll never love anyone but himself.
Gaara scares his sister and makes his brother angry. He is twelve years old and hasn't slept for more than an hour since he was four years old. If he could kill himself, he would, because he has no purpose. The only way he feels alive is if he watches someone die. An ugly voice inside him that keeps him awake at night keeps tally of all the times he's ever felt alive.
Gaara is sixteen and has killed at least one person every day since he was seven years old. His father is dead and it's the closest thing he's ever felt to happiness. He doesn't care that his brother and sister are grieving. He tells them to shut up with the noise. He's meditating in the other room and he can't concentrate. His sister tells him he's being a monster. He says that if they don't be quiet he'll kill them. They shut up because he means it. Gaara isn't really meditating. He just can't sleep.
Gaara is seventeen. The voice in his head still says nasty things he can't ignore and it makes him get up in the middle of the night so he can feel alive again. He still feels dead.
Gaara has his father's bitterness, his sister's way of holding a grudge and the same burning hate for the place he came from as his mother. Since no one would take the chance, he loves only himself. He will live alone so there will be no one else to love. And he will continue to listen to the voice in his head. There is no one he loves more.
His name is Gaara. And he feels alive.
